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Instead, keep talking, in that first conversation and later on, about the kinds of sensations you both enjoy or are interested in exploring and how you could see toys playing into the sex you already have. Encourage each other to think outside the box of genital stimulation. From that place of understanding, you can start to dive more fully into toys. Bringing sex toys into partnered sex can open up entirely new realms of pleasure for everyone involved. Gabrielle Kassel (she/her) is a queer sex educator and wellness journalist who is committed to helping people feel the best they can in their bodies. In addition to Healthline, her work has appeared in publications such as Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Health, Self, Women’s Health, Greatist, and more!

“Couples can also enjoy outside-the-box toys—from simple things like dice or board games, all the way up to bondage kits, nipple clamps or fun role play outfits.” Another one of Dr. Jenni’s expert-approved picks, this dildo was designed for more comfortable penteration for beginners. “It’s slim, easy to slip inside and also vibrates for internal or external pleasure,” says Dr. Jenni of the pink vibe. The battery-powered and fully-waterproof vibrator also boasts a textured shaft and adjustable vibration speeds.

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Most of these devices were advertised in respectable women’s magazines such as Modern Priscilla, Women’s Home Companion, McClure’s, and Good Housekeeping. By the turn of the century, there were more than 20 vibrator models available, running on electricity, batteries, foot power, or water power. The prices could vary from $15 to $200 for the Cadillac of the vibrators, the Chattanooga. Rachel Maines argued that medical practitioners of the time utilized technology to induce a “hysterical paroxysm” in their female hysteria patients. However, this claim has been critiqued by academic researchers who have examined the primary sources from Maines’ book and found no evidence that physicians ever used electromechanical vibrators for such purposes. We turn to Renaissance Italy, where olisbos became diletto, from the Italian word for delight or pleasure.

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Sharing sex toys with other people can spread STDs — if someone who has an STD uses a sex toy, the body fluids on that toy can spread the infection to the next person who uses that toy. So if you’re using a sex toy with a partner, it’s important to take steps to help prevent STDs. There are so many different kinds of sex toys and ways to use them that figuring out where to start can feel a little overwhelming. Going to a sex toy shop and asking someone who works there about different products can be a great way to learn more about sex toys and what might work well for you. You can also just try something that seems interesting and go from there. Or you may decide sex toys aren’t for you, and that’s totally OK too.

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